There are certain things that will always make me laugh. Jack making his funny face, ( It is funny. Take my word), any random episode of Scrubs, and someone getting hit in the nuts. I'm serious, if you have balls and something bad happens to them in my bubble of observation, I will laugh at you. Then I will think about it later and laugh again. Jack swung a lightsaber into my brother's danger zone, and dropped him to the ground, and I guffawed even though it was a little sad because my brother is only 12. But its the nature of the beast, internets. I can't help it. And you can't either, that's why America's Funniest Videos has been running for a hundred years. That crap is funny.
My son has grown to be just the height where all his swings, punches, and head butts are balls level to a grown man. This has provided me with ample snickering and snorting opportunities. So many, that I can distinguish a balls injury scream from a regular old stubbed toe, or finger smashing scream. And in those times I don't even have to see it to chuckle, and later when I want to relive it and chuckle again I get to mentally change the circumstances to fit my mood. Its like Mad Libs of the balls. And it brings a smile to my face when even Zoloft can't.
There are those of you who might say: Scoff! You shouldn't laugh at such things, Woman! Our balls are sacred! You don't know pain like ball pain!
And to those I say this: Dude. I gave birth to a ten pound baby. After 17 hours of labor. Cut your balls in half, drive a truck through them, then staple them to your ass, and get back at me with your kicked in the nuts whines. Because I win. Granted I puked and cried the whole time, but still, I win.
And then another time, someone cut me open and took a human being out of me. Check mate, Balls-owners.
But that's not what I came here to say.
You know those moments when you are trying to convince someone that they are wrong and you are right, (bonus points for being obnoxious and arrogant about it), and just as you play your best card, the proof of your wrongness occurs? That sucks. Unless it happens to the other person, and then its awesome?
That just happened.
The huz and I were in the basement, and I was trying to chase the sound of a cricket around. Jay insisted it was outside the door, under the bulkhead. Then we debated about whether or not a cricket could fit its bastard little body under the door, and Jay was all, there is NO WAY a cricket could get under that door. (He built that door.) Its not possible. He waved a dismissive hand and spun away from me as a gesture of righteousness, only deliver himself directly into the path of the cricket, which he murdered by punching it into the cement floor. I'm telling you, Internets, the man is a damned neanderthal. But the sweet pleasure of reveling in the win? I could eat it with a spoon.
|Well, do ya?|