Friday, August 13, 2010

The Last Post Of My Youth


I remember the first moment I knew I was getting old.  I was in a Strawberries record store, reminiscing about the Garbage Pail Kids to the teenager behind the counter, who snapped her gum at me and said these words:


"Uh, that was before my time."

I let her live, but talk crap about her every time I re-tell that story.  I think she ruined all teenagers for me, because now when I see teenagers I think they should go put on a belt and get off my lawn. I did particularly enjoy the teenagers in my old neighborhood, who thought they were invisible when ten of them hid from the passing cars.  Behind, like, three trees.
Nothing says "I climbed out my window to smoke pot with my friends" like removing all doubt of guilt by doing this as soon as you see headlights.

I was all set to be 29 again this year, so when the huz starting throwing around the talk of thirty, I feigned an insulted gasp, and then berated him for not knowing my age. My plan worked perfectly until he caught up with my BFF, who set him straight because, "she does not get to get out of turning thirty."   So now I have to wax my eyebrows and put a bra on, and hide my laundry piles for a party tomorrow.

And this morning I woke up to this:

I feel some gray hairs growing as we speak.

29 comments:

Mighty M Family said...

I think you'll be just fine! I am 36 and so far it's the best decade yet. Or that's what I keep telling myself. Over and over and over again. :)

I have a bag full of old Garbage Pail Kids cards somewhere......uh, so NOT before my time. :)

joannmannix said...

Oh, to be 30 again! Or 35! But, let me tell you the 40's are kick-ass, so catch up, will ya! Have a great, wonderful birthday, my friend!

Holly B said...

If 50 is the new 30s then the 30s would be what... the new teens? I enjoyed my 30s, its when others stopped treating me like a child and and I really came into my own.
Have a blast!

Mungee's Ma said...

Turdy, turdy, someone's 30! I'm older than youthough, don't feel bad. If I looked hard enough, I bet I could find my Garbage Pail Kids collection in my parent's garage! :::adds to to-do list:::

Happy Birthday!

The Flying Chalupa said...

You know what? You're gonna love your 30's so much better than your 20's. Trust me. And I'm only 33. And I freakin' loved garbage pail kids. Teenagers are such assholes.
ps - it's taken a while, but thank you so much for visiting my site last week!

Ratz said...

Oh dont scare me Britt..... This post is damn scary.... Well i am already scared to be 22 and find it hard to look at the younger ones just like u said.... what shall we do? Probably run away where they don know us... and will find it hard to remind us of our age....

but happy birthday lady... enjoy the day...

Cheeseboy said...

Just wait until you hit 34. It only gets better.

wombatcentral said...

Happy birthday, you youngin'!

JMJones said...

New follower here from Pitch it to me. Happy Birthday!

Kristy said...

Ah, 30's are great. You'll like it. You have no choice.

imperfect momma said...

LOL. Happy Birthday. I keep lying about my age so that when the drs office asks I have to think a sec. LOL. But I do have my hubby trained well tho. One day, someone said something about my impending 30th bday (I think I'm gonna wear black that whole day. As a memory to my long gone youth). Hubby turned to them corrected them and said, no...shes only 25. Sigh. What a good man. LOL. Hope you enjoy the day

Crystal said...

My day of oldness came when I was making a joke to my broker about wearing "hammer pants" in junior high, and she goes, "What were those?"

LitanyofBritt said...

*sigh*
and also STOP! HAMMATIME!

LitanyofBritt said...

That's love right there.

LitanyofBritt said...

This captures my feelings exactly. (Now that I am some days into being thirty, because I'm more mature now.

LitanyofBritt said...

Thanks!

LitanyofBritt said...

Thanks, it better!

LitanyofBritt said...

Thank you, my friend. I got some beautiful wine glasses and wines in pretty bottles for my birthday, so I think its a sign from the universe that I shall be dealing with my thirties through wine. *clink!*

LitanyofBritt said...

You totally should!

LitanyofBritt said...

Thanks for being the Flying Chalupa, which is maybe the best bloggity name, ever!

LitanyofBritt said...

I like that theory, and would help explain some of my behavior lately.

LitanyofBritt said...

Thanks, Woman! *clink!*

LitanyofBritt said...

Nice. I think you should make a collage of them for your living room.

tornadotwos said...

Sorry I cannot relate as I am still 29. Nevermind how old my oldest child is and stop doing math, I'm 29 I tell you!

mrsblogalot said...

Come on! Some of my best memories are from my 30's. You are going to love 'em!

I loved them so much that I keep celebrating my 39th birthday.

After awhile people stop counting or paying attention (-:

Maxabella said...

Happy birthday and stop making me feel ANCIENT as I waddle through my last year of my thirties.

Your thirties are THE BEST time. Be happy your muddled, needy twenties are behind you and embrace the power of thirty. x

Paul Novak said...

LOL. Youngsters don't know what its like. 42 and I'm still wondering what the hell hapopend. Yesterday I was 24 and now all of a sudden I'm 42 and feeling like I got run over by a football team.

Adrienne Jones said...

Will it make you feel better if I tell you that the Garbage Pail Kids were AFTER my time? Because they were.

Besides, the 30s are the new 20s, which is good because when I turn 40 (gasp!) in a few months, I'm thinking those are the new 30s. See? We're both practically children!

Mungee's Ma said...

Hey, where have you been? Everything okay?